now hear this...

it's a bit after 2am and i can't sleep. i was held over at work for a bullshit call, and i'm actually quite bitter about it. but, it's times like these when i find the most interesting information. not interesting in a useful sense, but just things that make you go 'hmmm'. i happened to be browsing through one of my favorite sources for useless information, the Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, and came across this entry. entitled Looney Laws, i figured it would be a good thing to post in order to keep us all out of trouble in various cities. without further or due, here's the list:

-Las Vegas: it is illegal to pawn your dentures.
-Natoma, Kansas: you will be arrested for throwing knives at men wearing striped suits.
-St. Louis: it's illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on a curb.
-Vermont: law forbids whistling under water.

and that's just to name a few. it's laws like these that make me want to walk an elephant down a street in Michigan without a leash. yup! illegal. you know, if i were a cop, i'd probably be the ass that actually enforces shit like this!

The Devil Went Down To Washington

ah, yes. you just have to appreciate a good stab at the government. and who better to take that stab? you guessed it, Michael Moore. i loved the first intallment, Bowling for Columbine, but having seen Fahrenheit 9/11 last night i have a new respect, or should i say, disrespect for the US government. as we all know, i personally, have never been fond of them. you know, the so called 'upper crust' who run this country. the film was spectacular when it comes to cinimatography for a documentary. yet, it also had a resounding effect on me, and as it seemed, the rest of the people in the theater.

it started out with a look at what our executive branch was doing in the weeks and months before that dreadful day with the opening credits playing at the same time. then, all at once, the screen went black. and what was played was shocking. it was the 'forbidden footage' of the 9/11 attack. no video, just the sounds. it gave me that ill feeling in the pit of my stomach. but what was to come was even more disgusting.

i don't want to ruin it for any of you who haven't seen it yet, so i will not go into detail. the film went on to show evidence that the only reason our troops are in Iraq is because of oil and money. it showed that our military, some of which i know personally, are risking they're lives and killing the innocent over there not to protect us from attack, but to make people rich.

ok, we started with Afghanistan. they're the ones who attacked us right? well not really. the majority of the bastards were Saudi, but, the Afghans were the ones harboring the most wanted man in the world, Osama Bin Ladin. how long did that last? not long enough. why did they forget about Bin Ladin and bomb Iraq? i will give you a quote from our fearful leader: "there's nothing worth bombing in Afghanistan." give me a break. yeah, it's true Saddam Hussein's a pretty terrible person, but all the reasons are wrong. Iraq did not attack us. they had no intention of attacking us. there were NO weapons of mass destruction. but, there was the second largest oil supply in the world. kinda makes me think of the song For The Love Of Money by the O'Jays. it sickens me to know what our leaders, people we're supposed to trust, will do for the Almighty Dollar. this was a large part of the message, and i must say, i've agreed with this since the whole Iraq thing started.

it made me laugh, at times i wanted to cry. there were moments of sorrow and moments of pure nausea. this movie has left such an impact on me word cannot describe. the thundering applause during and after, and the conversations i heared as we were leaving assured that everyone there was touched in one way or another. it seemed to make the ones against the wrongful attacks by the juggernaut that is our government feel stronger about their views, and i'll bet it will change the minds of many of the supporters.

i am by no means, an anarchist. i believe in a government. but i believe in a good government. one that cares about its people, and less about their wallets. as for the film, i urge all of you to see this movie, and then, to vote. i will.

can a nigga get a table dance!

so, following my usual thursday night shift 4pm to 8am, i went to Cleveland. the ride was long and tedious. it rained like a bastard and i was alone with only my CDs to keep me company. finally, 2 hours later, i arrived. i went to sleep expecting to wake up in the evening and meet up with Steve for dinner. i was mistaken. well, not entirely. dinner was involved, but i was unaware of the magnatude of the events to come.

Steve came by around 6:30, and we did our usual coffee thing. i was treated to a mocha, and got creamed in Hoop Jones. then Steve's phone rings. he talked vaugely to whoever had called, and hung up. he looks at me and says "we need to go...now". we jumped into the car and i drove to the house. by this time, Steve had let me in on some of the night's plan in order to motivate me to get there post haste. little did he know he was in for a 'white-knuckle' ride. i assured him he'd be ok...i am, in fact, a professional.

we arrive at the house to find a limo in the street and B, Dave, John, Uncle Scott and Scotty in the driveway. and this began my bachelor party. we got into the limo, short a couple people who were unable to attend for reasons of their own. oh well, they lose. we went out to Lakewood to Sakura, a japanese restaurant Steve had a great fondness for. i can see why Steve liked the place, since they have great hibachi and a nice ambiance. dinner was great. we all attempted to use chopsticks but to no avail, and following the food, toasted with Saki.

on the way back to Euclid to drop John off, and pick Ricco up, we decide it would be a good idea to get our hands on some porn. unfourtunately, the limo only had VHS, which could have caused a problem, if not for John who just happened to have some porn on VHS at home. so, when we got to my parents', John used his mad sneaky skills to get the tape from the house to the limo. we smoked a cigarette, and were on our way to Diamond's Mens Club.

when we got to DMC, our douchebag limo driver made a half-assed attempt to get everyone in for free and failed. however, Steve and i were permitted inside with no cover charge as we were the groom and best man. i was treated to lapdances and drinks from each of my companions and enjoyed every minute of it. but, all good things must come to an end, and we only had the limo until 2. so, we left the club and headed back to Euclid. the drive was ridiculous. we continued to drink, watch porn, and disobey the rules set forth by the driver at the beginning of the night. Steve begged for dollars from people on the street, but was turned down much the same as one would turn down a crackhead begging for his next fix.

we got back to the house, finished off the booze, and passed out one by one. some of us only after multiple trips to pray to the porcelin gods.

i had the time of my life and can only hope that everyone had enjoyed themselves as well. i couldn't have asked for a better time, or a better group to share it with.

the fast and the ridiculous...

ok, we all saw the movie and yeah, it may have been kinda cool. tricked out cars, blocking off streets to race. but what is with these kids? i don't know exactly how many there are but it seems like at least 5,000 of them live in pittsburgh. i'm just saying this because i can't drive 1 city block without seeing at least one souped up rice-burner driven by some teenager trying way too hard to look like a badass. and the worst part? they can't even race these "daddy don't you love me"-specials for fear of getting arrested. i pin them as "daddy don't you love me"-specials because i know that no 16 year old can afford this stuff without daddy and mommy's yuppie money or a profitable drug dealing venture. when will this craze ever end? probably never. at least not as long as custom car parts companies keep coming out with new styles of rims.

"they spinnin' nigga.........they spinnin'."

2 weekends, in review...

alright, it's 2 a.m. and i'm at work. there's nothing going on and sleeping seems to be out of the question, so here i am. i've got nothing really particular to talk about, but i figure i'll just blabber on until something comes to mind. actually, i've had a very productive weekend, and it feels great to have gotten a few things done. let's see, i don't even know where to start.

ok, i got it. first of all i'll start with last weekend. so, jen and i went to cleveland for our wedding shower. which i must say was surprisingly more enjoyable than i had projected. of course i had a wonderful time because jen was with me, and i can't imagine doing any of this with anyone else. i feel like the luckiest man alive to have such a wonderful woman who loves me. ok back to the shower, at first i was apprehensive for the simple reason that the responibility of planning this whole shindig was given to my mom. love her to death, but as you all know, she can get a bit neurotic when put into any sort of stress-causing situation. it's cool though, she means well. i am glad to say, however, that it turned out to be a great time, and it seemed that not only i, but all who attended enjoyed themselves as well. of course, there were a few choice moments/comments i could have done without as these things do tend to happen, but whatever. i had a good time, and it was great to be in the limelight and have jen and i made to feel so fourtunate and special. i just wish we could have brought all the gifts back with us. i guess that's one of those tests of my patience i've heard so much about in my younger years. i'm sure i'll get over it with no problem.

following the shower, we had the pleasure of going to erie waters with mom rys, steve and his new, shall i say, girlfriend. i hope "girlfriend" is correct, because i've never seen steve more happy, and if they're not using terms like boyfriend and girlfriend, i can't wait to see it happen. they really seem to click with one another, and i'd love to see steve in a great relationship. not just because of how much my relationship with jen has done for me, but steve's a great guy and i think he's going to make some lucky lady very happy one day. (steve, if you're reading, work that mojo of your's and great things will happen.)

there's so much more that could be said about last weekend but i'm afraid i'd start to ramble and bore you all. whoops, too late, i'm rambling here. but if you're bored by it well, as i say, you lose.

on to this weekend. so, jen and i went back to cleveland to do some paperwork with father bober for the wedding. which i must say was sort of nerve-racking (ok honey, i give in. you're right, i was kind of nervous. for what i don't know.) i still can't get it out of my head that i was called a heathan and pagan by the very priest that baptized me when he couldn't find me in the church records. i must say it was hilarious given the situation. as for the rest of the day, we went house-hunting. i'm really glad that our first choice of homes to see happened to be ghetto and falling apart because we never would have come across a diamond in the rough that is euclid. this place is great and i loved evrything about it. if only there was a way to manage affording such a beautiful house, i would be extatic. the drive home was great as usual, because during these commutes between states, jen and i seem to have the greatest discussions. and aftarward, i am always truly content and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. as i said before, i am the luckiest man alive. so, we get back to the burgh, and i wind up here at work. after however, finding that onyx pissed in his cage... that rat bastard.

so it begins...

alright. so, i've been reading some of steve's posts and decided to jump on the bandwagon. not that i have anything important to say right now, but i'm hoping that sometime soon, i'll have a profound thought that i think everyone should hear. yeah, i doubt that too many people are gonna read this, and i'll bet even fewer will care. so, for all the non-carers, well, YOU LOSE!