one stood up, they all stood up... it was ANARCHY!

jen and i went to Your's Truly yesterday for lunch. and, between bites of the legendary Monte Cristo sandwiches, and constant laughter, we came to the idea of how great it would be to mount a full scale liberation of opressed lawn ornaments. yeah, people were giving us odd looks and probably thought we must have recently escaped from the local mental institution, but who gives a fuck. it's not my fault i didn't get my ativan that day.

during all of this madness, we had to come up with how we could explain these shenanigans to a judge should we find ourselves incarcerated. we figured they'd call it theft, and that said lawn ornaments, particularly yard gnomes with little red hats, didn't really seem opressed by any manner of speaking. i wouldn't call it theft however. it can only be defined as a liberation. as much so as G.W. 'liberated' Iraq. almost something along these lines: we don't care if it's your neighbors that we're after. we just want your gnomes, and it doesn't matter what you think, because i kick ass.

just thought it was an amusing anecdote, i'm gonna go finish my Romanburger...

yet another day off...

so, here i sit, another day off. i should probably relish in the fact that i've got twenty-four hours to myself being left to my own devices. yet, somethings giving me that unproductive feeling. i tend to encounter this issue more and more lately, but to be productive is probably going to cost me money i don't really have, and Friday can't arrive soon enough. made a deal with T-mobile to hold my phone payment. which is a good thing, as communication is a necessity of mine. i was very pleased that they even considered it as the bill was due on the 22nd. then again, it's their fault anyway. had they sent me a bill, i would have been prepared, and we wouldn't have this issue. enough about that.

i'd really like to wax the durango, and give the dogs their baths. but, if i'm having trouble mustering the motivation to type this post, i don't know how i'm going to get anything else done. hopefully, something will strike that nerve later today. none the less, i've just sparked my last cigarette and will require more of them soon. and here we go with the pop-ups.

i don't understand how this can be possible. we have two so-called pop-up blockers on this computer, yet neither of them seem to block anything. except me from seeing the screen. they come up about every thirty seconds, screaming at me. "Buy my shit!" i don't want to buy your shit. if i wanted to buy anything, i would have google'd it. ok, enough of my babble. possibly i'll have something meaningfull to say later on.

i have a dream...

"I don't think necessity is the mother of invention - invention, in my opinion, arises directly from idleness, possibly also from laziness. To save oneself trouble."
-Agatha Christie

if there is any part of this quote that's possibly true, i guess i'm in pretty good shape. one, i consider myself to be somewhat lazy. not in that inordinate sense, but moderately lazy. i'm sure some of you will disagree, but hey, what can you do. also, the whole idleness thing really plays into at least 5 hours per week. see, i have no idea where it all comes from, but i've been having these ideas. just about every time i see some new product being peddled to the masses via that wonderful invention we call television, i get some crazy thought in the space between my ears on how i can make it better. plus, there's a certain bent appeal to the notion that possibly one day i will have the know-how, and the funding to create something for the people that will eventually make me rich. well not rich, but wealthy. you know, the way Chris Rock put it. shit, at this point, i could settle for hood rich. at least that could bump me up a step from my current ghetto fabulous existance. not that there's anything wrong with being ghetto, as fabulous as it may be. either way, if anyone happens to know some wealthy folks who'd like to give me some of their yuppie money, please let me know.

ok, this is getting wierd...

ever since i installed Statcounter on my site, i'm starting to get this funny feeling in my head. if i remeber correctly, i think steve mentioned something of the sort too. i just looked at my stat records and was surprised to see some new visitors. anyways, i'd like to bid good day to all of you in various US states, europe, canada (well, maybe not canada), singapore, and i few others. damn, if i could make money off this shit i'd have enough for a 99 cent double cheesburger and small fry! whatever, hope you like the site, and if you don't, as usual, YOU LOSE!

this is pissing me off...

ok, i wrote a post this morning, tried to publish it, and this damn thing is giving me grief. apparently, there is a problem with the site, as i went about all this in the usual manner and have never incurred such difficulties before. in the event this one makes it to the site, nevermind. this is a test, repeat, this is only a test. i know i could delete it, but we all know i suffer from chronic laziness and science has yet to produce a cure. or at least a cure that has been aprooved by the FDA. maybe i'll get around to taking care of it later. then again, probably not.

it's the end of the world as we know it...

and i feel fine.

finally, it's arrived. the day we move from pittsburgh back to cleveland, and, either i feel great about it, or i'm just numb from all the pepsi and tylenol in my system. i don't really know. i'm excited to move back though. we get our friends back, something we've really lacked during our stay in the 'burgh, and it feels good to be able to get the old crew back together. it's something i've really missed out here. hopefully paintball will start again. i could use the stress relief, and the whole hobby/excercise bit.

honestly though, jen asked me if i'm truly excited about moving, i must have been coming off as skeptical about the whole idea. actually, i'm pretty pumped, but it's kind of wierd. the things that i'm really looking forward to that is. i don't know where it comes from, but i seem to be really excited about the small stuff: being able to get a nice cup of coffee with steve in a coffee shop that actually permits smoking while whoopin ass in some Hoop Jones, being able to get a pack of smokes and not have to pay an arm and a leg to do so, and being able to go down to the e-coli infested lake, sit on a bench and relax. oh yeah, and random yard-gnome stealing (i know Mom's ducks need some friends). i love simple pleasures like this and wish they'd come around more often. there's a few others, but i'm tired and should go lie down.

anyways, those of you that know me, see you all soon!

infomercials and B movies...

once in a blue moon i get asked the burning question, "why do you stay up so late?" like it's a bad thing. i mean, it's not like i'm taking $400 out of the ATM at 3am to buy some rims or anything. truth is, sometimes it's pure insomnia, but more likely for good TV. yes, i said good TV. i'm sure some of you can relate. every once in a while, between the corny commercials, Ronco meat dehydrators, and the knife guys, you'll find a great movie or 2.

i was watching a few nights ago and discovered 'Spun' on IFC. you gotta love some IFC, or Sundance Channel for that matter. there's just something about independant, low budget films that draws me in. and most of them have some truly big names. anyways, 'Spun'. it's about this kid who becomes a personal driver for a guy who runs a meth lab. the basis of the gratuitous use of meth and speed was suiting, as i was suffering lack of sleep secondary to a ridiculous amount of southern style ghetto tea in my system. and let me tell you, if there is a legal way to get the effects of speed without the whole addiction thing, ghetto tea is it. love that stuff. there's nothing like gulping down a gallon of liquid containing so much caffiene and sugar it could make even Howard Dean get delirium tremors for only 98 cents.


so, the big names i had mentioned earlier: our star was played buy the kid that played Cool Ethan, the wierd kid in Slackers. John Leguizamo, the blonde from American Beauty, and a couple others i knew but couldn't put names to the faces, but was too lazy to check the credits. not a week goes by that i don't find a couple movies like this that i wished had gotten more publicity. then again, if they were popular, they wouldn't be on this late and i'd have nothing to do but listen to a loud-mouthed redneck tell me why i need a 6-foot Bowie Knife.


p.s. if you order now, we'll give you this beautiful 6"x8" belt buckle for just 3 easy payment of $9.95!!!!!

"To have little is to possess. To have plenty is to be perplexed."

so i found this quotations site and found that a lot of them really describe me. with that, i've come to the conclusion that it could be a good idea to start my posts with them. in this case, a quote by a man named Lao-tzu serves as a good title. considering all the cleaning and packing we've been doing in preparation for our move to Cleveland, he couldn't be more right.

it's amazing, how much crap a person accumulates over the years. at the moment, i consider jen and myself to fall into the latter of the two (refer to my title), and i am truly perplexed. between all the knick-knacks, memorabilia, and just plain junk that we have procured in our recent past, i'm starting to conclude that having a lot of places to store things is not a good idea. i'd really like to find whomever invented drawers. he deserves to lose, and i want to be the one who tells him so. i guess storage is ok for the shot term, but in the long run, it's really pissing me off. and i'm feeling that the only purpose of having more storage simply gives people a chance to collect more useless stuff. the magic 8 ball sees many garbage bags in my future.